If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My balls are so social today.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
there is puke in my bra ... again
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