i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
