I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize