1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
