well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
