just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i drank out of a bidet.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize