I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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