our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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