you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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