I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
