I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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