I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
