I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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