he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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