im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
