I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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