I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
