Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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