If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
