well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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