Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
