oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
