either way he was missing a nipple.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
