I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
