I'm so fucking centered right now
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
