Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
