your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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