Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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