PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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