this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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