Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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