Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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