If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I want a musical about memes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize