She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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