only you would photoshop your dick
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
