Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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