im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
