I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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