Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
