you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize