Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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