ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize