the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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