the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
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Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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