everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
of course. lets lasso hookers.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
