so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
