My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
