he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
