So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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