can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
