Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
