Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
