Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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