i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
