I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
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