hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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