just come out here and I will go home with you...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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