Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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