Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
