People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
